High School thoughts...

For some it will soon be time to go out and learn stuff again, so I want to drop a few lines about that sometimes hated topic High School.
Being raised in Germany, I only know the American version of High School through movies (like "Teen Wolf", hehe) and my new nephew and nieces here in America, but the principles should be very similar - after all, it's a whole crowd of teenage kids stuffed together in a concrete building, while each of these teenagers is going through a whole lot of changes all by themselves.

My most important thought on High School:
It is OK to be different!
I was never part of the "in crowd", and I never regretted it. OK, I was lonely a lot, but I also did not have to hang out with jerks all the time, and in my High School it was mostly jerks that formed the groups.
What I should have done more was find friends - other people like me who did not take part in the "in crowds" activities, other people who often hung out alone. Try that. Human beings are very social beings, and not being social you miss out a lot. Besides, it is necessary training for the future. In my case, not having many friends and spening most time with myself (and TV and tapes and books and later video games), my social skills lacked a lot until the end of High School when I finally started to think for myself.
So don't close yourself to people, but find the ones that might fit your own views. And let them be who they are. And if they are a few years younger than you, who cares ? My best friend for years was two years younger than me, and when we founded a Dixieland Jazz Band out of parts of the school Big Band, I again was the oldest by two years. So what ? It still was fun, it still was better than sitting alone at home doing nothing. Besides, the band occasionally brought in good money ;-)

The sad part about growing up is that puberty and High School don't fit too well together. School was meant be a place where you get prepared for your adult life, and that should include growing up, too, I think. But there are not many places that prepare you for the turmoil of feelings and emotions and weird thoughts that start happening during puberty, just when you got comfortable being in that new school. Pretty much everyone of a certain age goes through it, although a lot of them won't know, others who know won't admit it - which is OK, too.
Puberty is a lot about experimenting, finding out more about yourself, re-creating yourself again and again until you find a new self - sometimes only to throw the new identity away just a few days later. It can be a confusing and frustrating time. But it will go away with time.

You may also have some fights with your parents. Believe me, that's normal! It may or may not be a good thing to research the topic puberty a bit and maybe on a calmer day discuss it with your family so they know what is going on with you. That may be a good opportunity to talk with your parents before the phase "I don't wanna be seen with my parents right now!" sets in. There will be a whole lot of things happening, and it is different for everyone.

Some people turn completely upside down, others do nothing else but rebel against anything, others don't really change that much, others just want to be left alone.

I think it is important in this time to have someone you can trust and talk to - and if you don't have anyone else, why not your parents ? Believe me, they went through the same thing in their youth. If they have completely different views and opinions from you or if you think they have always been bad parents or if you think they don't listen to you, anyway, or if they don't appreciate you - so what ? Try it - it may open each other up to a whole new relationship. The openness and willingness to talk is important. And if they really do not make an effort of understanding you, try to stay calm at least once or twice and let them know. As long as you can stay calm, let them know what you think you need from them.
Try not to make it sound like accusations - tell it from your perspective, e.g. "I feel like no one listens to me" or "I feel lonely" or "What can I do to help you understand me better ?". Also tell them what you need - as far as you feel comfortable. It is OK if you don't feel like sharing your innermost secrets with them - again: IT IS OK! Go only as far as you feel comfortable! But having someone to talk to is very helpful, I think. It could be just a kind lady next door (I had a lady like that a block away, and I occasionally picked wild flowers from the fields around and brought her some, and we talked, and I entertained her with things I had picked up earlier - it was one of the highlights of the day for me to be heard and liked and accepted).

One show on TV that often shows the troubles of being a teenager, even with relatively understanding parents, is "Joan of Arcadia". I think this is one of the few shows with really well thought out characters and realistic behavior - I am very impressed with the writing, and it also has some good funny moments every now and then.

Now I am not sure if anyone at all is reading this, but if you have any questions, please let me know using a comment - you can post anonymous comments, too!