Some things I believe (part 2)

Try this:
Think back for a while, far back into your childhood or early adolescence. Think of events (both good and bad) that have influenced you for life. If you found one, think of another...

I found way too many "coincidences" in my life this way. I am not saying "oh, poor me, look at how bad I had it" and am definitely not fishing for compliments or attention, but yes, I did consider my childhood a sad and lonely one. And the only reason why I am pointing this out here is that nearly every single "bad" event in my life was necessary for me to learn something very important.

Let me give you an example (more will undoubtedly follow with time):
As a child, I trusted everyone, and I don't remember anyone or anything ever telling me differently. Now trust is a good thing, but you have to learn the conditions of trust, and I was a very slow learner on subjects like this one... So other kids abused my trust, told me to do stupid things, I did them - and I got into trouble for them. Happened all the time. I cannot change these events today, but I can look back and learn from them and think what I could have done differently, and I can pass on what I learnt. That is probably the best thing you can do with negative experiences!
Now, one day just before musical education started (by that time I was already known as a "troublemaker"), one of the real troublemakers in my grade came over to me to show me a neat "trick". He told me to rub the inside of my hand for a while and then smell it. I did that, and when I held me hand close to my face to smell it, he slapped the back of my hand which would usually just make my hand slap myself, but his movement pushed one of my fingers into my eye. No damage was done, but it still hurt (both physically and emotionally), and I started screaming like crazy. The teacher came in just 5 seconds after (perfect timing amongst the staff was another one of the things that kept happening to me), and at once he told me to be quiet and sit down.
OK, what did I learn from this ?
First, know the person in front of you. If he is a known troublemaker, you can give him the benefit of doubt (he may just have acquired a bad reputation by bad luck just like me), but you may still want to be cautious. If he deserves the reputation, he is not likely to show you a trick out of the goodness of his heart...
Second, stop trusting everyone!!! Build a wall around yourself!!! Don't let anyone in ever again!!!
Third (about 10 years later), open this stupid wall that you built, you fool!

Yes, you may learn things that you will regret later, but you can still learn new things. Once you stop learning, what is left ?!?

Another problem you may run into (especially before adulthood) is that all the lessons are right there in front of your eyes, but you just can't see them. The incident I just described happened when I was in 5th grade and about 11 years old, but I only started learning the lessons in it when school was nearly over, when I was 19 and older. Actually, most things I only learnt after I was about 22 or older, and now being 30 I still keep looking back and learning new things saying "Duh! Why didn't I think about that earlier ?". But experience (any type of experience) will make it easier to detect lessons.

One day I will ramble on about my life and the various stages it took, but now the topic is Faith.

You may think now, OK, he has had a few bad things happen to him, and he managed to learn something from it - what has that got to do with faith ?

Well, think about it this way: What if none of these "bad" events had ever happened to me ?

I would most likely have led a protected and "innocent" life, never any trouble - never any need to grow up, no need to learn what life is about, not knowing that too much trust can be just as bad as no trust...

In one sentence: If these things had not happened, I would have NOTHING of what I have today - no experience, no knowledge, not my current life (that I like, and it keeps getting better), not my wonderful wife - and certainly not this Blog :-)

So, next time something bad happens to you, wait a while until you have had a chance to calm down. Close your eyes and relax and let your feelings simmer down, then think back. What could you have done differently ? Would you do something differently next time ?

And if you are young, you may learn things from it that are too extreme and will push you from one extreme to another, but that is what learning is about: Making mistakes and correcting them, and finding the Golden Middle.

And again: What about faith ?

Well, I figured, why did all these events take place in my life ?
To destroy me ? Then they failed.
To strengthen me ? Oh, mamma, you betcha!

Where did they come from ? Can a 15 year long (or even longer) series of countless events whose only purpose seem to be to force me to learn the most important lessons of my life be coincidences ?

This is where faith comes in.
If you don't have any, your answer will most likely be "bah, still coincidences, happen to everyone."
If you believe in something, you may say "yea, someone was looking out for you, making sure you learn."

I believe it couldn't have been planned any better.

The best part is: Now that I HAVE learnt my lessons and am practising as many of the good things I learnt as possible, more and more "good" coincidences are happening to me. This ties in with my last post - good action equals good re-action. Not necessarily every single time, but in the sum, in the larger image.

Yes, I am still experiencing times of misfortune, and I am very (too) critical about myself and constantly watching my actions and trying to make myself a better person. But I am so much happier with myself, in spite of or BECAUSE of all the "bad" things that used to happen to me.

Let me end this one with a little phrase:

Don't call it a "problem" - call it a "challenge"!

Again, comments are very welcome and will all be read!